Seek forgiveness from the person you have wronged

Narrated by Abu Huraira (Radhiallah hu Taala anhu)

Allah's Apostle (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said : "Whoever has wronged his brother, should ask for his pardon (before his death), as (in the Hereafter) there will be neither a Dinar nor a Dirham. (He should secure pardon in this life) before some of his good deeds are taken and paid to his brother, or, if he has done no good deeds, some of the bad deeds of his brother are taken to be loaded on him (in the Hereafter)."

Bukhari Hadith 8.541

Everything happens for the better

Follow up on Isbah's post Sin City.

It’s sad to see the amount of violence, oppression and injustice happening on an individual level, national level and globally. Ruthless people are inflicting crimes against their fellow beings. It feels as if the sense of mercy is rapidly depreciating. I often wonder why innocent people are suffering and going through such hardy trials. It appears as if they are facing penalty of crimes committed by other people. It doesn’t seem fair. Some unfortunate ones are sunk into poverty and deprived of the basic necessities of life such as food, shelter and even adequate clothing. What’s their fault? Some are simply born into it. Who to blame in such a case? Fate?

My knowledge is too limited to see any good coming out of such apparent unfortunate happenings. Perhaps if we look into the life of each individual we’ll get better insight. Regardless, I strongly believe that (for a good person) there is good in everything i.e. everything happens for the better and if one is righteously patient and awaits God's mercy surely he will witness the good. (InshahAllah and Allahu alam)

Consider the following hadith: “The affair of the believer is amazing! The whole of his life is beneficial, and that is only in the case of the believer. When good times come to him, he is thankful and it is good for him, and when bad times befall him, he is patient and it is also good for him” (narrated by Muslim). Another version of the same hadith is “Amazing is the believer, for whatever Allah decrees for him, it is better for him! If he is tested with a bounty, he is grateful for it and this is better for him; and if he is afflicted with a hardship, he is patient with it and this is better for him.”

Being patient in hard times, and grateful in good times is the catch here.

We all get hit by misfortune, fall sick, get into accidents, and are saddened at times of despair. Everybody faces problems in life. It’s natural and humanely to feel gloomy. However, the believer easily overcomes such hardships since there is good to derive from it.

As a kid when I would fall sick my mama would console me by saying that there is good to derive from illness. She would say and that since I am in pain Allah mian will compensate it for something pleasant for me. With that thought in mind I would instantly become peaceful. As I grew up I came across this saying of The Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) “When the believer is afflicted with pain, even that of a prick of a thorn or more, God forgives his sins” (narrated by Bukhari). Isn't it better that our sins get washed in this life rather than face punishment in the next? Indeed it is.

It is reported that Abu Hurayrah, the companion of the Prophet, had a favorite illness! He is reported to have said, “There is no illness that afflicts me more beloved to me than fever; it enters every part of me and [because of it] Allah the Mighty and Sublime gives every part of me its share of reward” (narrated by Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad).SubhanAllah, if only we could look at the positive side when we got sick or some misfortune occurs.

As long as we are honest and sincere in our affairs, we need not worry of the outcome. InshahAllah events will unfold for the better. Human knowledge is limited and sometimes we fail to see the potential harm and get depressed when we don't get what we want. Allah (s.w.t) says in his book “but it may happen that ye hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that ye love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knoweth, ye know not” (2:216). Therefore, we shouldn't lose heart, rather be optimistic and respond with shukar i.e gratefulness.

May Allah bless us with hearts that are patient and grateful in times of hardship and otherwise, and May Allah knock out any hardship that beholds us with his plentiful mercy. Ameen.

Allah helps those who help others

It was related on the authority of Abu Huraira (R.A), that the Prophet (P.B.U.H) said: "Whosoever removes a worldly grief from a believer, Allah will remove from him one of the griefs of the Day of Judgment. Whosoever alleviates [the lot of] a needy person, Allah will alleviate [his lot] in this world and the next. Whosoever shields a Muslim, Allah will shield him in this world and the next. Allah will aid a slave [of His] so long as the slave aids his brother. Whosoever follows a path to seek knowledge therein, Allah will make easy for him a path to Paradise. No people gather together in one of the houses of Allah, reciting the Book of Allah and studying it among themselves, but tranquility and peace descends upon them, mercy envelopes them, the angels surround them, Allah makes mention of them amongst those who are with Him.And whosoever is slowed down by his actions will not be hastened forward by his lineage."
[Muslim]

Click here for an over view of this hadith

Compassion of Allah

The Holy Prophet explained the Compassion of Allah upon his slaves by saying "he who has intended a good deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as from ten good deeds to seven hundred times, or many times over. But if he has intended a bad deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and done it, Allah writes it down as one bad deed."
Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Such is the compassion of my Allah.
SubhanAllah.

God helps those who help themselves

"God helps those who help themselves" ~ Ben Franklin

I came across this saying a long time back and was pretty impressed by it. I often get annoyed when people surrender to circumstances and bluntly blame destiny for their failures and problems in life without even attempting to improve things for themselves when clearly certain things are in their control. So I quote them this saying and ask them to think about it deeply. I will share my thoughts on it.

We have to make righteous efforts on our part and then leave the results to Allah and trust Him with the outcome He wills for us. Our efforts and hard work never go in vain. Allah doesn't overlook the struggle we go through. He has promised us rewards essentially in the hereafter and from my experiences and observation one does get rewarded in this life too, though sometimes in a different way than we expect. There is just and mercy in all of Allah's decision. It is for a strong believer to realize that whatever happens, happens for the best and if one is patient this realization is affirmed with time. Things might not turn out the way we hope for. Regardless, it is our obligation to sincerely work for what we wish to attain. To wait for things to happen and destiny to shine without efforts on our part when we truly are capable of doing wonders, is being ungrateful to the capabilities Allah has blessed us with. Not only is it an ungrateful mentality, it is being unintelligent too.

"Nothing happens by itself, all will come your way, once you understand that you have to make it come your way, by your own exertions." ~Ben Stien

This is not in contrary to reliance on Allah and Trust in Allah to fulfill all our needs. Indeed Allah is most giving and the ultimate provider and facilitator. But it is our job to reach out and make the most of His countless blessings. The Prophet (God bless him and give him peace) said, “Rely on God, and don’t deem yourself incapable.” (Related by Muslim, on the authority of Abu Hurayra – God be pleased with him)

Sunnah entails that one should strive to respond to all challenges that arise in the best way possible(i.e in true Islamic spirit in terms of intentions, goals and means). In the journey of life everybody faces obstacles and difficulties. Success doesn't come in a silver platter. History is full of examples where people assumed responsibility and changed the quality of their lives amidst all the negativity. The obstacles are there, but the opportunities are there too, for the positive minded to see. Allah (s.w.t) says in is book: “Verily with hardship comes ease; verily with hardship comes ease.” (Sûrah al-Sharh: 5-6) . Those who realize that the hardships of life are transient, preceded and followed by times of ease are those who eventually succeed. Blaming fate, and getting bitter about life is not the way. People of faith continue to strive and await Allah's blessing. Being patient being one form of expressing trust in Allah.

God helps those who helps themselves. Destiny favors those who help themselves. I believe so, do you?

I quote a short story from Paulo Cohelo's book Maktub :

A master and his disciple are riding across the Saudi Arabian desert. The master makes use of every moment of their ride to teach the disciple about faith. "Trust in God," he says. "God never abandons his children." At night, in their camp, the master asks the disciple to tie the horses to a nearby rock. The disciple goes to the rock, but remembers what the master has taught him: "He must be testing me," he thinks. "I should leave the horses to God." And he leaves the horses unfettered. In the morning, the disciple sees that the horses have disappeared. Revolted, he comes back to his master. "You know nothing about God," he exclaims. "I left the horses in His care, and now the animals are gone." "God wanted to care for the horses," the master answered. "But to do that, he needed your hands to tie them."

On Backbiting

We have to recognise that when it comes to morality and values, Islam is the standard. Want to know a prime example? Ever heard of the Golden Rule? It says, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Sound familiar? It should, Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) stated the same basic thing.

He said, Narrated Hadhrat Anas (Radhi Allaho anho): The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said, "None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself." (Sahih Bukhari: Volume 1, Book 2, Number 12)

What about the statement, "If you can't say something good, say nothing at all." Here it is in our beloved Prophet's words. Narrated Hadhrat Abu Huraira (Radhi Allaho anho): Allah's Apostle (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (or insult) his neighbour..." (Sahih Bukhari: Volume 8, Book 76, Number 482)

All this goes to preface the idea that we have to care about each other in a way that is in line with Islam. When we think of 'Gheebat' (gossip, backbiting), most of us think that this is the speech as defined by the non-believers -- saying something negative about someone -- whether truthful or not.

But Islam has given it a stronger definition: Narrated Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (Radhi Allaho anho): Allah's Apostle (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said: Do you know what is backbiting? They (the Companions) said: Allah and His Apostle (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) know best. Thereupon, he (the Holy Prophet) said. "Backbiting implies your talking about your brother in a manner that he does not like." It was said to him, "What is your opinion about this that if I actually find (that failing) in my brother which I made a mention of? He said, "If (that failing) is actually found (in him) what you assert, you in fact backbitten him, and if that is not in him, it is a slander. (Sahih Muslim: Book 31, Number 6265, Abu Dawood, Ahmad and Tirmizi)

And Muttalib bin Abdullah said, "The Messenger of Allah (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said, 'Gheebat (gossip, backbiting) means that a man mentions about a person something which is true, behind his back." (Majma'-uz-Zawaid)

Just imagine the high standards that Islam has set, that this horrible sin is not even confined just to the oral or written statement. Hasan bin Al-Makhaariq reported that "Once a woman visited Hadhrat Aisha (Radhi Allaho anha), and when the woman got up to leave, Hadhrat Aisha made a sign with her hand indicating to the Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) that the woman was short. The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) immediately chastised her, saying, "You have backbitten!" (Tafseer Ibn Jareer, vol 4, p 328)

Scholars agree that backbiting is a major sin, and that the committing of this sin necessitates repentance (Taubah) to Allah." (Tafseer Qurtabi)

The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) has warned us of great punishments, which may befall us as a result of committing this sin. Narrated Abu Barzah al-Aslami: The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said: "O community of people, who believed by their tongue, and belief did not enter their hearts! Do not backbite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault. And if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him in the open for everyone to see, even if he hid it in the innermost part of his house." (Abu Dawood: Book 41, Number 4862, Tirmizi and Ibn Hubban)

See, we talk about others, exposing them and Allah gives us a taste of our own medicine -- exposing us. Which of us has no secret, which would harm us if exposed? Who among us can afford to risk this punishment? May Allah protect us form His wrath!

We have to be very careful. Remember, on the Day of Judgement, Allah may forgive us the sins we committed against Him, but He will not take away our rights as individuals. On that day, people will have the right to take our good deeds or even the bad deeds of theirs would be given to us in case of crimes we have committed against them. One of these crimes is Gheebat, where we sacrifice the honour of our brothers and sisters.

Narrated Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (Radhi Allaho anho): Allah's Apostle (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said: Do you know who is poor? They (the Companions of the Holy Prophet) said: A poor man from amongst, who neither has dirham nor wealth with him. He (the Holy Prophet) said: "The poor of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others, and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of the one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire." (Sahih Muslim: Book 31, Number 6251)

Let's reflect on this. Here we are. We thought we were doing good. We prayed. We fasted. We worked hard on doing good deeds. Yet, there we will be on the Day of Judgement. We will have survived all of the horrible trials, the Judgement, the Bridge and the huge thorns, which snatch us according to our deeds and throw us into Hell. (Sahih Bukhari: Volume 8, Book 76, Number 577)

We will have been through all this, only to lose all our good deeds because we could not or would not control our tongue. On this day, we will stand there and be asked by those whom we harmed for their rights. A person whom we have backbitten may take that one crucial deed that means Heaven or Hell. How many deeds can you afford to give away?

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (Radhi Allaho anho) narrated: Allah's Apostle (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) told that the servant whose fault Allah conceals in this world, Allah would also conceal his faults on the Day of Resurrection. (Muslim: Book 31, Number 6266)

Hadhrat Uqbah bin Amir (Radhi Allaho anho) narrated: Whoever covers the faults of believer is like one who has brought to life a female child buried alive. (Abu Dawood: Book 41, Number 4873)

The rewards are so great. We should be so careful in this matter to avoid the punishment and to receive the great blessings. There are a few situations where it is allowed for us to talk about something, but these are limited. Here are a few allowed situations:

Marital advice or protection from possible harm:

Fatimah binte Qays went to the Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) seeking marital advice when both Mu'awiyah bin Abu Sufyan and Abu Jahm had proposed to her. The Holy Prophet told her, "Muawiyah is stingy and tight fisted and Abu Jahm beats his women." So marry Usamah instead. (Muslim, Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi, Nisai and Ibin Majah)

Complaint:

Narrated Hadhrat Aisha (Radhi Allaho anha): Hind, the mother of Mu'awiya said to Allah's Apostle (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam), "Abu Sufyan (her husband) is a miser. Am I allowed to take from his money secretly?" The Holy Prophet said to her, "You and your sons may take what is sufficient reasonably and fairly." (Sahih Bukhari: Volume 3, Book 34, Number 413)

Seeking advice from someone who has the power to help:

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (Radhi Allaho anho) narrated that a man said, ""O Messenger of Allah! I have a neighbour who is harassing me." He (the Holy Prophet) said, "Go and put your belongings on the street." So, the man went and put his belongings on the street. People gathered and asked, "What's wrong with you?" He said, "I have a neighbour who is harassing me; I told the Holy Prophet about that and he told me to go and put my belongings in the street." The people began to say, "O Allah curse him! (about the neighbour). The neighbour heard about that, so he came to the man and told him, "Go back to your house. By Allah, I will not disturb you again." (Bukhari)

Now, once we have seen this, we have to reflect upon it. What if we have committed Gheebat, what should we do? Well, Imaam Nawawi said, "The Ulama have said that if you have committed Gheebat, then ask forgiveness for it. So, how do we repent from this awful deed?

We have to first ask Allah to forgive us and make a decision not to repeat it. Then, we have to go to the people whose Gheebat we did, if possible, and ask them to forgive us, and if they are dead, ask forgiveness from Allah for their sins and ask of Him to give rewards of His to them and make them happy from us. Remember, Allah will forgive us his right, if we ask sincerely, but He will not remove a right from a believer. So we must ask the believer for his forgiveness as well.

One thing more I would like us to note that what shall we do if we are in a situation where others are backbiting? We have to first remember Allah and advise them not to do so as well by in a nice and gentle manner. If this does not work, we must leave that place or that gathering at once, because sitting there and listening is as bad as doing the deed. For the scholars agree that a person who is in attendance when a sin is being committed is as guilty as the ones who are committing the sin.

Your presence is a kind of approval of the deed. If your friends are angry with you for not participating in their sins, they are not really your friends. Why would they want to harm you and, of course, your religion, and want to hurt your chances to get into Paradise?

Also, remember in doing so, you are protecting the honour of your brother or sister, and look to the reward of doing so. The Holy Prophet (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said: "On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will deflect fire from the face of the one who defends his Muslim brother's honour in the latter's absence." (Tirmizi)

O Allah! Guard our tongues! O Allah! Guard our actions! O Allah! Forgive us our sins against You and ease the hearts of those we have harmed.

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Reminders from the Sunnah

Hadhrat Amr bin Abasah (Radhi Allaho anho) said: I came to the Messenger of Allah (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who is with you in this matter: He said: "A free man and a slave." (Meaning Abu Bakr and Bilal). I asked: What is Islam? He replied: "Good speech and serving food." I asked: What is faith? He replied: "Patience and excellence." I asked: What Islam is the most excellent? He replied: The one from whose hands and tongue other Muslims are safe." I asked: What faith is most excellent? He replied: "Good character." I asked: What prayer is most excellent? He replied: "Standing in humility and recitation for a long while." I asked: Which migration is most excellent. He replied: "That you leave that which your Lord hates." I asked: What Jihad is most excellent? He replied: That in which one's stead is injured and one's blood is shed." I asked: What hour is most excellent? He replied: The last half of the night."
(Sahih, related by Ahmad)

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Hadhrat Abu Jaree Jaabir bin Saleem said: Are you the Messenger of Allah? The Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) said: "I am Allah's Messenger, whom if an affliction touches you and you were to invoke Him, He removes it. And if a year of famine comes upon you and you invoke Him, He causes the crops to sprout for you. And if you were in a water-less desert and your she-camel strays and you invoke Him, He returns it to you."

We shouldn't hesitate in invoking Allah to assist us in the slightest of matters.

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On Establishing Peace

"To make peace between two individuals (in comparison) is worthier than one's entire prayers and fastings."

~ Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H)

If you see old Indian movies, plenty of the story lines would involve two die-hard best friends turning into aggressive enemies and a common third party who would continously litter the relationship, add to the bitterness and exploit the situation to their advantage. And as the story proceeds generations pass, the culprit is unvieled and towards the end of the movie the friends turned foe turn friends again and to the joy of everyone all is good in the end.

What is depicted in the reel life is actually what does happen to some in real life.Sadly, all real life stories don't have happy reunions.And also, although there is an entire possibility that a crooked third person exists to break the friendship\relationship apart, sometimes there is no third party adding fuel to the firey situation but the twosome themselves. Rather there could be a common well wisher who attempts to restore peace but in vain. Ego,anger or any other element stops either of the two from restoring friendship. Or maybe one of the two people tries to make harmony but is shunned by the other.Life goes on and the close friends turn into strangers and die with perhaps lots of regret at heart.

People are important, relationships are important but then what is so important that it holds back two people from restoring peace amongst themselves. I understand situations can get intense,extreme and seriously offensive but I fail to understand where does the love go? Where does the care go? Where does the good go?. How can somebody chose to be at unrest with another for life, be it somebody close or not?

No matter whose fault it is, and who is wrong, why doesn't one be the first to extend the hand of peace? Does it degrade ones honor, self esteem or pride? I don't think so. No body is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes.It's inevitable.But sadly everybody doesn't have the capability to accept a mistake and take responsibilty for his actions. Also no body likes to be criticized. I personally feel criticism in the right manner is totally healthy and helps one nurture himself. One of the Imam's said : "The most favorable friend to me is that who shows me my flaws"

Coming to the hadith, it simply stunned me. It's incredilble. Just look at the reward for establishing peace between two individuals. 'worthier then one's entire prayers and fastings' It massive.It's worth an effort.The Hadith speaks for itself.

So next time if somebody honors us by confiding in us and shares with us an upsetting situation apart from saying words of comfort and offering some advice we should encourage our friend to initiate peaceful talk.And if we happen to be a mutual friend, then it would be a good idea to hear both sides of the story and try to get both parties talking and sorting their issue out in a just and fair manner.

Normally we feel we would be interferring in anothers personal issue or don't want to take such a responsibility or an added burden Sometimes we are least bothered about another's fight and just like hearing the details for the sake of gossip. Not good!
I believe if we happen to be a sincere mutual friend of two friends in distress we'll be driven to help out our friends out of care, even if there is no incentive of reward. We wouldn't be concerned about our person gain. Would we?

I find this saying of the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) relevant :

"Someone who possesses knowledge on a subject but conceals it when he is asked will be bridled with reins of fire."

(Therefore, if a person possesses information that would help a bewildered person and improve his situation but he remains silent, he has surely committed a great sin.) Mapping this to the topic, if we are somebody with adequate information about a disturbing situation, we shouldn't wait to be asked for help, rather come forward on our own and save the day for our friends. If we feel, our friend is wrong, we should correct him politely with lots of humbleness and offer our guidance and not hold back out of the fear of offending him.

When we hear about disturbance between two people the least we can do it make a little prayer of peace for them. May Allah guide us all. Ameen

Peace 2 All.