before time takes 'you' or 'them' away

Things must be sorted out before it's too late

Chances must be availed before you don't have any to miss

Mistakes must be accepted before there is nothing left to repeat

Feelings must be shared before they turn to cold to be warmed

Temper must be tapped off before it costs you a world

Words must be appreciated before they lose their charm

Take some time out for your beloved ones before time takes you or them away

I believe so, do you?

~courtesy a friend

What are friends for? A Longer Life

NYTimes: In the quest for better health, many people turn to doctors, self-help books or herbal supplements. But they overlook a powerful weapon that could help them fight illness and depression, speed recovery, slow aging and prolong life: their friends.
Read On

True friends are a blessing from Allah. My friends & family make me healthier, alhamdulillah
=)

Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

2 quotes i like

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

~Anonymous

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”
~Anoymous

Optimistic | Pessimist

I have been an optimistic person all my life....one of my friends actually criticizes me for being too optimistic about anything and everything but I can't help it, that's how I think, it comes naturally. That doesn't imply I am unrealistically positive or not sensible about it. Maybe I don't give up easily when my heart is inclined towards something. Generally being optimistic is considered a good thing and it works for me, though the disappointment level is amplified and so is the heart-ache if things don't work out the way I intended.Nevertheless so far so good . The potential of some serious pain hasn't stopped me from reaching out to a wish. All praise and thanks to Allah who has been most kind and most giving and I pray for his continued mercy and compassion for me and everyone I know. Ameen

I came across the article that I quote below. It's an interesting read. I could relate to the thinking style of a pathological pessimist who worries about the worst-case scenario but is willing to give it a shot. I do worry about the worst case too, at times I worry sick but i try to shoo away the negative thought by making dua.The article published in Times Online brings to surface the postive sides of being a pessimistic.

Imagine you are walking down the street. It is a lovely day — clear blue sky, a light breeze, sunshine. You marvel at what people refer to as “the miracle of life”. The leaves are so green! The birds are chirping! You are blissfully caught up in a state of vitamin D-induced euphoria. You think of the person you love most in the world, someone to whom you are profoundly attached. Visualising their face, you have a sense of infinite safety; you are filled with joy.

Then, you picture them dead.

Suddenly you are filled with dread, consumed by all the what-ifs that are contained in this thought. Thousands of them, like a shoal of sardines, racingare contained in this thought. Thousands of them, like a shoal of sardines, racing frantically through your mind. The more you try to push this thought away, the more space it occupies, expanding uncontrollably until you are not just experiencing the loss but are fixating on the details. The funeral arrangements, the life-insurance papers, questions of their Pin and the password for their e-mail.

Forget the leaves on the trees — you have more pressing concerns. Where’s the joy in being alive now? The sunshine has become oppressive; it’s no longer energising; it causes melanoma. You cross over to the shady side of the street. Read On

Music and Memories

Have you ever formed associations of music with memories.? Like a song reminds me of my friend because she sings it to me and similarly a song can remind you of the happy time when all friends were together, sang and listened to it repeatedly on a school trip? Or a song that used to play on the car's radio while you ride to school daily? Or a song that reminds you of someone who said something similar to you? All such songs have become special to me because of it reminds me of special people or hearty occasions. A recent study shows the memories and emotions that people associate with familiar songs are a part of the brain where the wiring for memories and thoughts about music appears to be linked.

"What seems to happen is that a piece of familiar music serves as a soundtrack for a mental movie that starts playing in our head. It calls back memories of a particular person or place, and you might all of a sudden see that person's face in your mind's eye," study author Petr Janata, associate professor of psychology at the Center for Mind and Brain at the University of California, Davis, said in a news release issued by the school. "Now we can see the association between those two things -- the music and the memories." Read On

Source: Health Day

This also reminds me how much I don't like the ring tone that's plays when the driver is here to pick me up for work in the morning. Some may feel this way about their alarm tones.

Bonds from heaven

...Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other....
~Paulo Coelho

Believe it or not :)

A definition to remember

Recently I watched the hollywood movie: A walk to remember. It reminded me of two other movies namely Sweet November and The Notebook. All three being sweet movies and interesting to watch in their own place. If you have seen all three maybe you can connect the three movies too.
There is a quote in the movie from the bible that I liked, posting it below:

“Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance. Love takes no pleasure in other peoples sins but delights in the truth; It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.”

No pain, No gain! Must there always be pain?

"Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken." But I wonder if there's no breaking then there's no healing, and if there's no healing then there's no learning. And if there's no learning then there's no struggle. But the struggle is a part of life. So must all hearts be broken?"

~ Quote in italic by Albert Camus
Description quote taken from One Tree Hill.
Image by Helen Ward

Emotionally Intelligent Anger

Anyone can become angry that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way: this is not easy.

[Aristotle]

A little hidden something

There is always

• A little truth behind every JUST KIDDING
• A little curiosity behind every JUST WONDERING
• A little knowledge behind every I DON'T KNOW
• And a Little Emotion behind every I DON'T CARE

~Anonymous

* I think sometimes there a huge emotion behind 'I don't care' =)

Quotes--To Forgive

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
~Catherine Ponder

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”
~Robert Muller

“Always forgive your enemies , nothing annoys them so much.”
~Oscar Wilde

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
~Lewis B. Smedes

“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”
~ Sara Paddison

“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”
~Lewis B. Smedes

“When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive”
~ Alan Paton

"Forgiveness is a funny thing.It warms the heart and cools the sting."
~Willian.A.Ward

Forgive to attain inner peace. Forgive for your own good. Forgive to neutralize the poison. Forgive to subdue the fire that blazes within. Forgive to please Allah and remind yourself how the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) used to forgive and give glad tidings to everyone regardless of how they treated him.

Locked Words

"I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel, like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart, locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know."
~ Unknown Author

What stops the person from unlocking the words, expressing his\her feelings and seeking the truth? By keeping the words locked in heart, isn't the person keeping himself\herself in a locked state of mind? Is wondering better than knowing?

Numb hands, Numb heart

Last night my hands were frozen and stiff due to the cold.It was probably below zero outdoors.I couldn't flex my fingers at ease.My fingers had gone bluish and kinna numb. They felt heavy and hard.So I put them under a shower of warm water.The water was really hot, I could sense it because of the steam around the sink. But to my surprise my hands felt more cold.The warm water stinged initially and it hurt more. Ouch!!! A bit later my hands soothed up, went through a melting effect and my sense of touch was back. Phew!
Extraordinary,Is it?
Sometimes life takes dangerous turns and we end up being in an emotional imbalance.The depression seems to be life long.Nothing seems to make us happy.We keep hurting,and all we feel is pain. We become numb to all feelings except sorrow. But if we keep exposing ourselve to the good, to the care, to the love, and continously try to fight the negative forces eventually the emotions will stop stinging.The good shall win.
InshahAllah.

A potential solution to sleep problems

BusinessWeek: Forget taking pills or counting sheep. Just make sure you can answer yes to five simple questions, and you're on your way to a restful night

This evening before you go to bed, ask yourself the following five questions:

1. Did I avoid causing harm?

2. Did I make things better?

3. Did I respect others?

4. Was I fair?

5. Was I compassionate

If you can answer yes to all five questions, you will be almost guaranteed to have peaceful, uninterrupted slumber (assuming, of course, you have no physical problems preventing you from sleeping well). You will deserve this pleasant reward, because you took the high road when it might have been easier to take the low one. Read On

She must carry out that mission or go mad

Found this extract to be intense:

I' m only happy when I think that God exists and is listening to me; but that isn't enough to go on living, when nothing seems to make sense.I pretend a happiness I don't feel; I hide my sadness so as not to worry those who love me and care about me. Recently, I've even considered suicide. At night, before I go to sleep, I have long conversations with myself, praying for this idea to go away;it would be such an act of ingraditute, an escape, a way of spreading tragedy and misery over the Earth. In the mornings, I come here to talk to St Therese and to ask her to free me from the demons I speak to at night. It's worked so far, but I'm beginning to weaken.
I know I have a mission which I have long rejected, and now I must accept it. That mission is to be a mother I must carry out that mission or go mad. If I don't feel life growing inside me, I'll never be able to accept life outside me.

The Witch of Portobeloo
~Paulo Coelho

Gratitute, Expectations, Uncertainity

Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.
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You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations. Because the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still. The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives.
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To often the thing you want the most is the thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heart broken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.

~Grey's Anatomy

Passion & Persistance

A combo to my liking

Isbah's Anatomy on Love

"Love Happens, and when it does, it gets you whether you want it or not, like it or not. And when it leaves, it never looks back at you, no matter how hard you try. Love is tempting, it is rebellious, but we all must learn to stop, even when we are in love, stop for our integrity and self respect, because love might leave you one day, but you will never leave yourself. And when you are left with yourself, all you are going to need is that self respect & integrity that u lost a while ago for the love that left you standing still.

Boundaries don't keep others out, they fence you in, and so it would be terrible thing to say that people should aspire not to fall in love anymore. Its a natural and most humanly act to follow. Just remember that there's a line that separates you from everything else in this world. Even love. And when someone tries to cross that line, you either let them, or you don't. If you let them, you risk too much, so just be sure that its worth it. If you don't, just remember that it wasn't worth you.

Sometimes, we want something to be true just because we waited very long for it to be true, dreamed too much for it to happen, but the other person might not feel the same way. It is quite possible that you cant love someone back the way they love you. So the right thing to do is to let them go. Depriving them of your love will not be as bad as pretending to love them back.Plus, remember that the ones that really disserve giving up your honor for will never ask for it in the first place."

~Isbahz
On the Post I hate love

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"There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who wont any more, and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future" BUT "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" and there's a reason for that too !

~Saira Andleeb
On the Post I hate love
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I would like to add this quote:

"But true love is a durable fire,

In the mind ever burning,

Never sick, never old, never dead,

From itself never turning."

~ Walter Raleigh

And the best of love is the love of Allah, and all love that is a means or part of this true love.

"And those who believe are overflowing in their love of Allah." (Qur'an, 2.165)

I Hate Love?

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

~ Neil Gaiman

"Often it is the most deserving people who cannot help loving those who destroy them"
~Hermann Hesse

If love is hate-able then what's love-able?
I hate, hate.

Brutus! U 2?

The chameleon is a master of disguise. It can change color to blend in with its surroundings.The chameleon’s ability to change color is its primary defense against predators.By changing colors a chameleon survives.A chameleon is expected to disguise.It's in its nature, and it does exactly that.We humans are more complicated.
All religions and any code of life teaches us to be loyal and trustworthy to each other. In our circle of trust we are expected to be faithful to each other.But sadly, some of us humans are able to bear a heart,mind and nerves to change loyalties and betray. Some of us plan and deceive others by choice, some of us blame the circumstances, we don't intend to betray or break another's trust, but we end up doing so.Instead of giving a helping hand when expected of us we turn our cold backs and disappear. Sometimes due to insensitivity, some times due to lack of courage to help, sometimes due to selfishness or what ever the reason
And we justify our behavior or blame it on fate! But at the end of the day there is no justification for betraying, no excuse for deceiving another, and no good reason to break somebody's trust. It's a grave sin and an inexcusable act.
During happy and smooth days everybody will seem to be our well wisher and friend.They will claim of their bond ship and extend their hand of friendship. But it is only during the hard times in life that we get to see the true color of our well wishers.Everybody is wearing a mask and the mask is unveiled during difficult times. History is full of examples of humans who have camouflaged and changed skins from friends to foe to gain power, out of greed or to gain love.
In my eyes the saying "A friend in need, is a friend indeed" carries huge weight age.So readers chose your friends wisely and be careful of whom you let into your circle of trust.It's a cruel world,God forbid, the true face of somebody very close to you may turn out to be very ugly.