Wednesday, 24 October 2007

Unbreakable Laws

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

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LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

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LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

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LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

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LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

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BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

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LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

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LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

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LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

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THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

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LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold

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LAW OF RUGS\CARPETS:The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

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BROWN'S LAW:If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

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DOCTOR'S LAW:If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

90 comments:

teeB@ said...

OMG...soo true...
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

everytym i try telling Noman sahab tht this is a bug......but then everything runs well!!!

i wonder who is the genious behind this!!!

Monay said...

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
This is so damn true i tell u na.....

whenever i go to KFC it happens to me..ad i keep on changing the queues :P

Syra said...

here's one of my own
LAW OF THE GLOWING PIMPLE: every time somebody tells you that you have a fresh face and lovely skin,or makes you realize that you have no skin problems, the next morning you will wake up with a glowing pimple :D:D
it's a jinx statement
partial credit of the discovery of this law goes to Saira andleeb.
so next time somebody is praising your skin tell them to say MASHAHALLAH :D
and o, don't deny the possibility of this law, doing this only acts as a catalyst..special warning for guys! :p

Monay said...

LAW OF EXPECTATIONS: this law implies dat the moment u feel that some particular guy is nice and dat he can be very good frd of urs and that he can prove to be a decent guy and wont do ny shit....the very next day..he will come to u and ask u for friendship :O :O :O :O

so next time take ur time in judging people..specially if its guy never interpret dat he can be a good frd of urs untill and unless u know him properly ;)

teeB@ said...

i hav to make an ammendment in this law Syra.......u just dont get a glowing pimple but a glowing pimple on an awkward place on face...such as on nose...or...middle of forehead...or...every prominent feature on our face :x

Monay said...

well...@ SYRA....in this bloody cruel world...we cant stay away from guys honey...whereeer you go u will have to interact with them....and
@teeb@ honey!everythings ends at guys coz ever pain starts with them and as world is round so it has to end at guys :P

Emerald said...

Syre! you missed another law... here it is:

LAW OF DEMONSTRATION:
Whenever you are giving a official demonstration of a running system, it won't run anymore!

How could you haveforgotten this law after we had been its victims all through 4 years ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm stealing these =))

Ethereal said...

a.k.a. Murphy's Laws

You can read all about it here[1] and this[2] site has a good collection of these.

[1]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_laws
[2]http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-true.html

Syra said...

sure moi,

ethereal, thanx 4 the link...reminds me, i studied murphy laws in a course called data-warehousing

and gals, there are nice,decent,righteous guys..have a heart..not all of em fool around..they can genuinely like you,but ofcourse beware...better be safe then sorry.

Ethereal said...

Guys would always 'genuinely' like cars and scrap metal more than girls :p

PS: This 'guy' discussion is funny :D

Ethereal said...

Realistically I'll be happy to have a loser tag and not get involved with girls in the first place. There's too much to do in this world already.

officialwarranty said...

listen up everyone...
this is for the guys here...if you have any doubts about convincing your family then DON'T GET THE GIRL INVOLVED!DON'T LEAD HER ON!
this is for the girls...don't trust guys too quickly...tell them you don't want to be friends cuz you have plenty already...this will either shut the dude up or if he's serious he'll send his folks over...

Ethereal said...

"if you have any doubts about convincing your family then DON'T GET THE GIRL INVOLVED!DON'T LEAD HER ON!"

Couldn't agree more.

Ethereal said...

Clarification: I got admission in UK but refused the visa. May not sound like a big deal but at the time I felt I couldn't live without it.

Ethereal said...

I think we've reached a conclusion here YAAY! :)

teeB@ said...

BRAVO....!!!


but to all the guys.... dont start ur search again after shadi...!!!

Monay said...

the discusion has become so interesting aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

@Xunaira girls only give liberty when they feel secure with the guy.....n its the guy who makes her feel secure and then....ANTI-CLIMAX!

so girls DONT U EVER DARE TO FEEL SECURE WITH ANY GUY :P EXCEPT UR FATHER... THE FIRST MAN OF OUR LIFE

Syra said...

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near

teeB@ said...

@ Monay... kindly add the new LAW OF EMBARASSMENT!!!

Monay said...

next is the LAW OF EMBARASSMENT : which is much like the LAW OF RESULT but with lil modifications.....its like wat happened to me right now dat i was asking teeb@ to help me in installing some software,with which i was having problem since 2 hours and the moment she came to my pc,she even dint otuch the mouse yet and the software was installed....

similarly the LAW can be....when mothers get embarassed coz of their confident kids who can speak anything in front of any one without even giving a glance to their mom's eyes,which she keeps on waiting for. :P
for example if the mom says (being guest to someone's house) that the kid does not like a particular eatable or he does not eat dat at home....the kid will jump to that thing imediately after this discussion and eat that like he has never seen it before....lolzz(as i used to do .... :P :P :P)

officialwarranty said...

How can you feel secure with a person when your relationship with him doesn't even have a name? i mean yeah emotionally you feel that you guys gel...but having a relationship outside of marriage always has a tag of insecurity attached to it since there are so many what if's...

teeB@ said...

nothing has changed Monay....u still the same.... now u dont make ur embarass but me :P

Monay said...

well Xunaira !feeling secure dosnt mean that u do all the stuff coz u r emotionally attached to the guy..feeling secure means that u r determined to marry him and u think he will never leave u....so u let him come closer to u hoping dat he is the one dat GOD made for yew.....for other...yes this relationship may not be having any name but u can regard it....coz its urs na...basically what i meant by security is.....elimination of all the what ifs and believing that he is the person dat GOD has sent to u.....and its the guy who makes thos belief stronger and stronger and stronger....

officialwarranty said...

okay then...did you elicit a commitment out of the guy? things should never ever ever be left unsaid...assumptions in most cases cause problems...if he made a commitment with you and said he'd marry you and then ran away okay then maybe that was wrong but even in that case the girl should keep her wits about and not start thinking k bus ab uss ne keh diya hai to ye harf-e-akhir hai aur wo kar k rahay ga...

Monay said...

i wish each girl should think..as we do :P

isaleem said...

->Don't ever say "It can get any worse" because as soon as you say it will.
->Cirinio's Law of burnt fingers
"Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass"

-> When a stone get in your shoe, it will move from the area of low pressure to the area of most pressure.

isaleem said...

wow this blog message is a HIT. 45 comments already. :)
Good work Saira.

isaleem said...

correction message no 44 : can't* get any worse.

Syra said...

what a deviation from topic!!

isk,never say never..because then the never kicks back =)

monay,the law of embarrassment is giving me laughing fits once again

officialwarranty said...

@Saira...hahahaha saira yar you know this is a mindset that indian soap operas keep reinforcing round the clock :D:D:D:D
oh and i don't think God's a male...cuz if that were true a lot of women would be stuck with scums(too decent a word to be used for people who deserve to be called worse)...
anyway...my point is that it's only ourselves who can protect us from getting hurt...

Syra said...

mana kay kharab larkay hain but
there are guys with good morals and clean intentions who don't fool around with girls, and genuinely like them.
that's what i was trying to say earlier, kay you wouldn't need to elicit a commitment out of a sincere guy..he, himself will have the dignity\respect\morals of seeing things through to marriage..and not hurting a girl..he will not run-away in difficult times..or leave her heartbroken. ACHAY LARKAY BHEE HAIN ISS DUNYA MAIN =)

for those who run away! what a shame..let them have their moment of celebration..they won't get away with it because We (girls) have God! and Allah's justice is the best!.

i repeat--it's best not to get emotionally involved in a relationship outside marriage.

Ethereal said...

1. It can't happen to me. I am too clever / agile / well-trained / good-looking / beloved / tightly laced, etc. This persuasion gradually erodes to

2. It can happen to me, and I'd better be more careful. I can avoid the danger by watching more prudently the way I take cover / dig in / expose my position by firing my weapon / keep extra alert at all times, etc. This conviction attenuates in turn to the perception that death and injury are matters more of luck than skill, making inevitable the third stage of awareness:

3. It is going to happen to me, and only my not being there is going to prevent it.

-Paul Fussell, Wartime

officialwarranty said...

@Ethereal...that was a fantastic comment!

Saira Andleeb said...

@Ethereal: agree with your comment !!!

@Syra: marriage is not a shield even ... even marriage doesnt stop them from doing their crap to you ... most so called "sincere" guys come into action after marriage ... i have so many real life examples for that !!!

well @xunaira: u need to be told a recent spooky story to understand and agree to the Law of Istekhara !!!
Sometimes God signals you to be with scums !!!

:)

Ethereal said...

I picked it from someone's signature on a forum. This explains why adults act like they do.

Monay said...

@ SAIRA u rock girl...i gazallion % agree to u....

@SYRA lolz.....aap ptv walay biyanat daine se perhaiz kareen...jaise ptv aik bika hua channel hai...waise hi aapke biyanat se khushboo aa rhi hai :P :P :P

there is only one gist of this discusion that MEN CAN NEVER LOVE A WOMAN...

Monay said...

@ISK if u r then where th eprob lies..keyboard?or brain? :P :P

isaleem said...

??????? eprob?

isaleem said...

Problem. acha acha acha

isaleem said...

There is no problem in my brain actually.
I never poke my nose into "me guy you girl" kind of arguments.

Monay said...

errr....typing mistake...

its thE Problem!

isaleem said...

E15024: Syntax error near 'th'

:D :D :D

isaleem said...

@monay
"MEN CAN NEVER LOVE A WOMAN..."


You know what Adam did in love of Eve??????

Ethereal said...

More guy support needed here. MONAY seems to be on top things here.

isaleem said...

and some one said a very beautiful thing.
i.e.
"God created woman from men's rib so she can be close to his heart"

officialwarranty said...

girls...why're you ranting away about how bad guys are? we can't live with them yet we can't live without them!
so quit the tantrum!
@ISK...dude...you know i'm having to do the work you're supposed to be doing here...

isaleem said...

@Xun
What am i supposed to do here ?
and what are you doing?

Sorry i didn't get what you are implying to say.

officialwarranty said...

@ISK...i'm defending your lot mr. male chauvinist...

isaleem said...

Oh OK
My lot was never insecure.
But still i appreciate you efforts :) thanks.
I think you are not a feminist kind. Am i right?

officialwarranty said...

yes it's insecure...that's why the loud cry for help from Ethereal...no offense Ethereal :)
oh i'm a feminist all the way...
just have a different point of view regarding certain issues...

isaleem said...

You know people in our lot are team players. He asked for help and he got the help.

isaleem said...

this means you are not a true feminist because there is no difference of opinion among two feminists. :)
May be you could join our group.

Syra said...

he asked for help from a guy..and like always a gal came to the rescue :p

officialwarranty said...

oh definitely there exist differences in opinion among every group...extremes never exist...
and i'm perfectly happy among the feminists :)
and if you're not insecure...then you don't need a female to join your team and defend you :)

isaleem said...

i thought you were insecure that is u i asked you to join my group.

Syra said...

Girls n Boys, here is a song video
Video . Enjoy!
HIGHLIGHT ON:
Uske Bina Ek Pal Rehna Sakhoge Tum
Usko Pata Hai Yeh Keh Na Sakhoge Tum
.
.
.
.
Ladko Ka Kya Hai Kissi Bhi Mor Pe Woh Mur Jaayein
Abhi Kissi Ke Hai Abhi Kissi Aur Se Woh Jud Jaayein
.
.
.
.
.

Woh Sharmati Hai Tabhi Chupati Hai, Ladki Jo Haan Kehde Usse Nibhati Hai!!!!!
.
.
.
.
:)
for those who havn't seen the movie...the dude(saif) gets a cracking slap in the end of this song :p

isaleem said...

hence proved that girls are not realistic they live in fantasy world of movies.
:D

isaleem said...

This evidence is solid enough to end the conversation.

@Ethereal-- I have won the battle for you congrats buddy.
This is one of our other success.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Syra said...

hence proved that guys arrive at dubious conclusions :p

isaleem said...

:D :D :D

isaleem said...

Okay every thing i just said in this blog message was just for fun. I didn't mean to hurt some one. So no hard feelings. I don't believe in this conversation at the first places.

Allah S.W.T. Says in Qura'an
"I made pairs so that you can get relaxation(sukoon)"
So every thing is for a right cause. So this conversation has no meaning.

Anonymous said...

woaaa ... LAW OF ENCOUNTERS is soooo true .. i wonder the guy been through the same situations as mine ;)

teeB@ said...

my gosh!!! this was too good...i enjoyed it lyk anything!!!

Hey Guys Calm down...none of this discussion will change the world...ultimately boys will remain boys...

so let us WIN here n Njoy all the fun :P

@Syra, ur topic ROCKED!!! looking forward for more interesting topics lyk these...btw i lyk oder stanza's too in tht song ;)

Anonymous said...

this is very interesting...

Ethereal said...

"Hey Guys Calm down"

If I'm not mistaken there are only two real 'guys' here and they're the ones taking all the flak :)

PS: Saira we need more of this. Keep it coming.
PPS: ISK man, thanks for the support :D

isaleem said...

@Ethereal-- No problem dude, it was my moral duty to save you from unleashed savage girls. :D

Syra said...

UNLEASHED SAVAGE GIRLS???

teeB@ said...

UNLEASHED SAVAGE GIRLS???

isaleem said...

what else?
:D
lol

Monay said...

UNLEASHED SAVAGE GIRLS???

isaleem said...

Come on we are 4 short of hundred.

isaleem said...

I know you want it to be like "Unleashed Savage Guys".
But my dear blog mates(Girls) this is not going to happen.
:)

isaleem said...

Interruption:
LETS SEE WHO HITS THE HUNDRED MARK.


THE WINNER WILL GET....... WHAT EVER HE/SHE WANTS.


AND I AM NOT GOING TO BE A PART OF THIS COMPETITION.

isaleem said...

You know what you have just won a wish :)
So make your wish right here loud and clear.

isaleem said...

No no no.
The mode of the discussion changed from "Bad Guys" to "All the Guy".

:D

So i had to defend my kind.

:)

teeB@ said...

Syra did DA 100 whewwww......!!!

good going great!!!

this blog is super duper hit this tym....wat r ur feeling on being hit by the 100th comment for the first tym in ut lyf.....but plz dont start lyk inzimam ul haq aur Meera!!! :P

isaleem said...

Syra wisay u really deserved it. Running a blog is hell of a thing to do.
Now please make your speech and the wish.

Let me start it for you
"aaa aa First of all aaa thanks to Allah God aaaa...aaa..."

Now please carry on
:)
:D :D

Syra said...

@Isk:I wish for Allah to enrich our hearts with purity.
@teeba: I feel pleased =)Blogging has become my hobby.

isaleem said...

So self less!!! I am impressed.
:)
Keep it up.

isaleem said...

and please
I was serious in the message above.

isaleem said...

and you promised me that you'll change the theme of the blog. Its really difficult reading from the current theme.

Syra said...

i like the template, don't want to change it as yet..check your monitor settings..adjust the brightness\ contrast.
it appears clear and readable at my end.which browser do u use? firefox par it's slightly dull, better on IE.

isaleem said...

ok as u wish.
:(

Syra said...

will change it if i find another template i like.

isaleem said...

ok as u wish.
:(

Saira Andleeb said...

the last comment just proved what i said in my comment that is stated in the last comment !

:)

Monay said...

hehehe!!! :P :P :P :P :P

Saira Andleeb said...

reminds me of a couplet:

(in urdu)

agur syed meray lub pur mohabbat hi mohabbat hai,
tau phir yeh kiss lye nafrat ka dhara saath rehta hai.

~syed wassi

;)

isaleem said...

Murphy's Laws of Computing



*
When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it
to happen.
*
When you get to the point where you really understand your
computer, it's probably obsolete.
*
The first place to look for information is in the section of
the manual where you least expect to find it.
*
When the going gets tough, upgrade.
*
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
*
He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
*
A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have
evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
*
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
*
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but
rarely what you want to do.