During our daily lives we interact with plenty of people; family members, friends, colleagues or mere strangers. Sometimes intentionally or unintentionally we end up hurting others, or get hurt by others and thus feel ill towards them and resort to backbiting which is labeled as a grave sin in Islam.
Sunnipath: Backbiting (ghibah) is a grave sin and is only permitted in certain exceptional cases, such as: mentioning to someone who will be able to get you your rights, asking a religious ruling, warning someone of the potential harms, about someone who sins openly, etc.
In order to get rid of the hurt and ill feelings we feel towards another Islam suggests talking directly to the person who hurt us in a gentle manner.
Sunnipath: As such, in normal situations it would not be permitted to backbite. What you should do is talk directly to the person who hurt your feelings and sort out matters with gentleness and politeness. Keeping your feelings in your heart will only make you suffer. It’s good to talk and sort out the ill-feelings that exist.
Sunnipath: Whenever you get a bad feeling towards somebody who has hurt you, make dua for her\him. This dua should be sincere and not condescending (i.e. not “O Allah, fix his\her many faults!”)—the scholars recommend, thus, that one ask for such a person’s good in this life first, and then their next life.
Remember that we deal with people for the sake of Allah, not their sake. Even when people err, they remain the creation of Allah: we love them for who they are, not what they do. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us that loving for Allah and hating for Allah is one of the signs of high faith.
It is not necessarily to be close to everyone. Rather, one gives people the rights due to them: we treat them well, deal with them with excellence—for the sake of Allah, following the beautiful example of the Beloved of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace)--, wishing all good for them, and being of good counsel to them when they have a worldly or religious need one could benefit them in. We should share in the happiness of one’s family members, friends, and those whom we have dealings with, and should seek to help them when they are ill or in need.
May Allah honour us with the best of manners.Ameen