Friday, 12 December 2008

Emotionally Intelligent Anger

Anyone can become angry that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way: this is not easy.
[Aristotle]

43 comments:

Ali Dar said...

Aristotle was a smart guy.

Saira Andleeb said...

Idiosyncratic but true!

Understanding that someone is angry at you in such a calculated way is difficult too!

Syra said...

but if u r somebody who handles emotions well, ppl will take your anger seriously.

Saira Andleeb said...

hmmm, i dont think so, i think people take your anger seriously if and only if you are important to them in some way, or in an emotional way.

Syra said...

that was implicit
but
it somebody i don't care abt is angry at me over something i would still be bothered abt it.

Saira Andleeb said...

Thats because of the person you are :). Being a person like that you'd be bothered about anyone being angry, cos you would like to resolve that to some degree .... i know i would be bothered too.

There are many people who wouldn't be bothered at all even if someone they love is angry at them.

Therefore i guess its relative, and a personal trait.

I think when we are angry at people we hurt ourselves more than the ones who made us angry!

Therefore an emotionally intelligent person by acting the way aristotle describes, forgiving and aiming for indifference saves herself of the turmoil more.

:)

Syra said...

sak, now we are on the same page except i don't agree on the indifference part. from what i understand the anger should be rightly directed to the right degree towards the person who caused it. indifference would be acting aloof to it.

ali, maybe one of my students will conquer the world and my sayings will become famous :p
or oooo, maybe i will conquer the world and my teachers word will become famous :p

Saira Andleeb said...

indifference is for the people who dont care any more!

khair, i thought life isn't about conquering the world but conquering our own selves :P

Syra said...

point to be noted! :)

Ali Dar said...

Well I see a lot of nice and noble thoughts here. I personally do not show any anger by harsh words or being physical. I usually ignore/stop talking to the person with whom angry. This has worked so far for me.

Although what Aristotle says is really ideal, But personally I have never followed it, nor I think I ever will.

I think conquering own selves is the first basic step. World is yours for the taking, so aims should always be HUGE.

"ali, maybe one of my students will conquer the world and my sayings will become famous :p"

Is this "ali" me?

Syra said...

I like that piece of thought "World is yours for the taking"

Yes lucas i was talking to u up there :) u mentioned Aristotle being smart..he was Alexander's teacher, a well known Greek philosopher..I wonder if Aristotle would be as famous had Alexander not been a successful conqueror.

The Holy Prophet(p.b.u.h) is the role model to follow. His anger was well controlled and was always on matters concerned with Allah. On personal matters he was very forgiving. We should try to be more like him.

my experience is that anger kept inside eats u up. so it should be released constructively, not via fireworks.

Ali Dar said...

Ok Mam. Main phir world ko conqueror karta hoon. Pehlay West ko karoon ya East ko?

Syra said...

:)the battle begins within. conquer yourself first.

Ali Dar said...

OK Captain!

Saira Andleeb said...

@"World is yours for the taking"

Once you set out on the journey you'd realize that when you conquer yourself you automatically conquer the world too. Why! Because this world which seems bigger to you than yourself is actually way smaller than what you carry inside you!

Good luck! :P

:)

Syra said...

that was deep! me likes! well said sak :)

Farhan Hafeez said...

Really nice quote, and yes, totally agree, this is not easy ....

@Ali: "I personally do not show any anger by harsh words or being physical" ... no harsh words ... really :P

Saira Andleeb said...

@Saira: I kind of like lucas :S :( ... hope you get what i mean! < :P >

Syra said...

on a frivolous note: hey! i like lucas...so u cannot like lucas..hope u know what that means :p B)

Saira Andleeb said...

i dont like him very much, i just like him! :P

But you know how lucas is, hes sensitive, helping and (most attractively) into literature ... So you gotta be sure someone is like that to be called lucas :P

Syra said...

rite. I call ali, lucas because he resembles Chad Michael Murray a bit.

Saira Andleeb said...

I beg to differ!!!!!

Syra said...

ok..don't be naraz...we all see differently :)

Saira Andleeb said...

not naraz, was just kidding! :)

Ali Dar said...

@Farhan... You know I have controlled the "harsh" words a lot, and a lot of other things :(

Farhan Hafeez said...

Hahahah .... yes i know :) ...

Keep it up :) ...

Ethereal said...

"indifference is for the people who dont care any more!"

This.

Syra said...

Asalamaleikum Ethereal,

long time! how have you been?

Ethereal said...

"indifference is for the people who dont care any more!"

This.

Saira Andleeb said...

Ok Ethereal, whats going on?! <:P :)> ... you have pasted my line the second time ... im unable to understand the assertion here and "This." ... help me here :)

@Syra: Do i know Ethereal? :)

Syra said...

I think ethereal is being indifferent. not replying to my message above. proving his point on indifference.This.

:)

Nopes, you don't know ethereal in person, but you know him from my blog since ever. Bhool giyeen aap :).

Saira Andleeb said...

Is Ethereal trying to tell me that I dont care anymore for something/somebody i should be caring for?

Syra said...

Ethereal knows better :)

I don't think he is pointing at you. Why do you think so? I gathered that he is speaking for himself. That he doesn't care.

Ethereal reminded me of V for Vendetta guy. :)

Saira Andleeb said...

Aaaah the assertion is for himself ... "Fake it till you make it" haan!

@Ethereal: The only way out is in!
And Sub maya hai ... everything comes to an end, sooner or later :).

Ethereal said...

I like that line by Saira.

Syra said...

Alright :). How have you been?

Saira Andleeb said...

Thanks Ehereal! :)

Allah bless with you immense peace! Ameen :)

Ethereal said...

"Alright :). How have you been?"

Mostly wasting time on computer games.

I see new people but familiar people on the blog. Nice going.

Syra said...

Shukriya :) Are you working or studying or both ?

Ethereal said...

Teaching and studying.

Syra said...

mashallah, that's really good.

mOi said...

Looking at the comments here .. I'm just wondering if it all happened at respective offices? =P

Syra said...

do the detective work and find out :) clue--timestamps